More often than not for me, the music comes first. Usually starts with a chord progression, then the melody will begin to surface. At some point, the lyrics will just sing themselves to me. It’s very strange. One minute I have an instrumental work in progress, the next minute I find out what the song is about. It’s always such a surprise! My favorite lyrics are the ones that show up all at once, as if someone else was dictating them to me.
For most of my life, I had never bothered to learn a lot of other people’s songs. Don’t ask me why; I just hadn’t. But one day in 2007, out of nowhere, I became obsessed with a particular song. I’d never thought to learn it before, but I found the chords and I played it over and over and over and over and over. I couldn’t stop. For days, I just played this song, must have played it nearly 100 times. I mentioned this bizarre phenomenon to my brother and he simply said (I paraphrase), “Change the chords around a little, alter the melody, make it your own”.
Okay, I can try that. So, I flipped the chord progression, added a little guitar lick, started coming up with something different; started making something that was mine. Cool!
And then, the chorus smacked me right in the head. It hit me so hard, I was shaken.
I can feel your heart beating inside me
I’m already home
I am love, there’s nowhere you can hide me
I’m already home
I had already written enough about my wife’s death. And I had worked so hard to pick myself up, to put one foot in front of the other, to keep moving forward. Jean had visited me before, shortly after her death, to let me know everything was alright, that I was not alone, that I’d always have an angel looking over my shoulder. And she’d come to me a second time, in a dream, and said, “Dude, it’s time to move on”.
This time, I said, “No. No. No. No. No!” And I put my guitar in its case, closed it and put it away.
NO! THAT’S NOT WHAT THIS SONG IS ABOUT! NO!
But I guess I had no say in the matter. Like Jean herself, the song wasn’t going to go quietly. This song was going to have its say!
The rest came very quickly, the lyrics, the arrangement, the recording. As I recorded the guitar part, the bass line sang itself to me. I didn’t even have to learn it, it was just there. A vocal harmony, then another. The string parts… it all just flowed so easily.
Eventually, like so much from that first year, I kind of put it away, sort of like a box locked in my emotional attic… A week or so ago, I’m Already Home popped in my head. I put the song on, gave it a good listen and all these years later, without that first raw shock, without the fresh emotion, I’m able to listen to it a bit more as “just a piece of music”, a story, melody, harmony, performance…
And I just love it.
I’M ALREADY HOME
I can feel your heart beating inside me
I’m already home
I am love, there’s nowhere you can hide me
I’m already home
Words can not begin to tell you
The story of our lives
But these few words were sent to me
A message from my wife
She says
I can feel your heart beating inside me
I’m already home
I am love, there’s nowhere you can hide me
I’m already home
Past is in my presence
Future’s on my wings
Told me when I close my eyes
I’ll see everything
Chorus
Told me when the time has come
Fly away with you
Until that day I’m by myself
Ah-ah-ah
I can feel your heart beating inside me
I’m already home
I am love, there’s way you can hide me
I’m already home
Words, music, guitar, bass, vocals, synth by bobwhite
Produced, engineered, mastered and gratitude: bobwhite
©2007 Hannah’s Misc/Samsongs BMI