Do the math. Please

 Been seeing a lot of people debating (arguing) over COVID-45 math. It’s always people downplaying the threat, puffing out their chests, demanding their spa day or beer fest (their “freedom”), and they throw around some minuscule percentages to support their positions. Problem is, they simply don’t know basic math. And they’re so damn proud of their ignorance. 

 Let me start by pointing out that 0.01 is not 1/10 of 1%. It’s just not! I’ll offer proof later.

 A couple of important notes when discussing COVID rates:
– Our data is incomplete. In the grand scheme of things, we know diddly squat! We have no clue how many cases there were before we starting recognizing them. How many people went to the doctor with symptoms in January and February that were not even considered as possible COVID infections?
– Less than 2% of Americans have been tested.

What we do “know” (numbers taken from Johns Hopkins this evening)
– There have been 6,231,182 tests to date.
– 17.16% of tests were positive (we could get into a whole other discussion over possible interpretations of that little nugget), resulting in:
– 1,069,424 confirmed cases in the US.
– These cases fit into one of two categories, active or resolved.
– A case can be resolved in only one of two ways, the patient has either recovered or they have died.
– 852,481 cases are active and 216,943 have been resolved.

 Active cases shouldn’t be considered in death count percentages because we have no idea how these cases will ultimately resolve. They’re ongoing, TBD, not concluded, still unresolved… 

Of the resolved cases:
153,947 survivors have recovered (71%)
62,996 souls have perished (29%)


Basic math lesson:
1) Can we agree that there are 100 pennies in a dollar?
2) Can we agree then that one penny is 1% of a dollar?
3) Can we agree that a whole dollar is written as $1.00?
4) Can we agree that a penny is written as 0.01?

Conclusion #1: 1% is written as 0.01. 5% is 0.05, etc.
Conclusion #2: If you disagree, you should go back to 5th grade (or refrain from publishing your ignorance, ffs).

Now Playing: the Rolling Stones – Out of Our Heads

When I was eight years old, my folks were ordering their 10 free records from Columbia Record Club and let my brother Jonathan and I pick one. We got Kicks by Paul Revere and the Raiders, which we quickly traded to a neighbor kid for Out of Our Heads.
The album is best known for the smash hits Satisfaction and the Last Time, and brilliant tunes like Under Assistant West Coast Promo Man, Play With Fire and Spider and the Fly, but it also marks the first time I heard a Marvin Gaye song (Hitchhike, decades later, a staple of IC3’s live set) or a Sam Cooke tune (Good Times), but here’s the kicker…
The album leads off with a cover of a relatively obscure American soul tune (barely cracked the top 40 in 1964), Mercy Mercy by Don Covay. Many, many years later, I learned that the guitar player on Covay’s version was an unknown kid named Jimi Hendrix.


I don’t deny the probability that Trump has bought a ton of Novartis stock recently. Given his proclivities for graft, profiteering and money hoarding, it’s a natural conclusion.

Consider this though:

Trump. The germaphobe, is so terrified of getting sick that his doctors had to come up with a couple of placebos for him, just so he’d stfu and get a little work done on behalf of “his” country. Suddenly, Trump (or as he sees himself, Dr. Albert Schweitzer-Trump) starts pushing the “hydroxychloroquine and zinc” that he thinks he’s being treated with. 

In another week or two, the curve will be flattened by the social distancing promoted by leaders such as President Newsom and President Cuomo and suddenly our stable genius will proclaim that his miracle discoveries have worked. He’ll immediately nominate himself for a series of Nobel Prizes in science, medicine, presidenting and game show hosting (retroactive). Throw in an Emmy or two for his great press conference ratings.

And voila, we’re great again. 


My Dream

 I rarely engage Trumpholes. What’s the point? They seem impervious to logic, incapable of cogent debate, devoid of original thought. On rare occasions, I slip up and troll them a little. It’s cruel, I know, like a cat toying with a moth. Lord, please forgive me. I am weak.

 Today, I saw a Facebook post from Adam Schiff. (Full disclosure. This guy is my hero! I literally wrote him in on my primary ballot for President). Chairman Schiff posted today saying, “Once we’ve recovered, we need a nonpartisan commission to review our response and how we can better prepare for the next pandemic.” You know, like we did after Pearl Harbor and 9/11. 

I commented, 
“Can’t wait until you’re Attorney General in January! You’ll get to the bottom of this #COVID45 mess. One word of advice, pace yourself! There’s going to be SOOOOO much to unravel.”

 Well… woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks.

  This one troll told me I won the stupidest comment of the thread award (which I suspect he is uniquely qualified to hand out), and then he (inadvertently?) quoted Adam Schiff’s Impeachment mantra, “facts matter” and pasted an 800 word Trumpifesto wherein the author recounted Comrade Donald’s many, many achievements – curing polio, discovering algebra, building Noah’s Ark (he’s a great builder), mastering time travel etc., all despite being treated very unfairly, and a lot of people are saying this, by ungrateful libtard lefties.

At least that’s what I guessed it said. I don’t read ALL-CAPS propaganda. 

 Anyway, this one gentleman comments to me, “you’re having a wet dream”. Now, I’ve been pondering what impresses me more about that statement and, frankly, I’m at a loss. Was it that he finds the topic somehow erotic or that he spelled “you’re” correctly?

 But here’s my “wet dream”. Melania tries to turn Lindsey Graham out and…. oh. No no no no no. That’s a different dream. My apologies. Be best!

 My dream is that on Inauguration Day 2021, when Trump has barricaded himself in the Oval Office squealing live on air to Sean Hannity, “The election was rigged, it’s deep state this and a failed Dem coup hoax that, no President has ever been treated so badly” and the Secret Service breaks down the door and hauls his pitiful ass out of the building, kicking and screaming like a four year old. They drag him outside to the waiting Marine One escape pod and, for his final temper tantrump, he drops to the tarmac and starts spinning in a circle like Curly from the Three Stooges. 

THAT, my friend, is MY wet dream.