Will Be Done

January 13, 2020 

When I don’t want to be somebody, then I will be done.

 Will Be Done – so I wrote that when I was 40. And Dad and I disagreed over what it meant. Trying to remember exactly what his view was (maybe he was right?*) but that’s actually a little off track. 

 As I become more absurdist, at least how I see absurdism – that nothing has meaning, especially in regards to ambition; Who am I trying impress? What is the point of “achievement” or notoriety other than the craving for acknowledgement, approval etc., as proof that we mean something, whether we’re a success and a winner or not, that we even exist, but we keep trying to find that meaning anyway? – my view has evolved. On one hand, that “when I don’t want to be somebody, then I will be done” means that when I no longer have ambition, I’ll be ready to die. But now, I see that perhaps I was 180 degrees off – that it really means when I stop wanting to be “somebody”, then I will be free and will live out my days happier. I won’t be done, I’ll be beginning.

Aha! But if that’s true, the lyrical premise can actually stay the same, but the definition of “somebody” and of “ambitions” change. My ambition is not to be acknowledged or approved by anybody but ME. It not about fame or glory or riches or “achievement”. Success is peace, and getting there is a very strong ambition. I don’t want to be “somebody”, but rather, that somebody is me! I just want to find me, love me, finally become me and live with me in peace. When I don’t to be somebody, but have become me… then I will be done! 

 Well… maybe I can wallow in my peaceful contentedness for awhile before being done. Doesn’t have to be instantaneous 🙂


2020

Good Lord, is it really 2020? Not much more to say other than I’m revisiting my old website, trying to fix shit that got broken (my entire media library is gone! Broken links everywhere…) and find something better to do with my time than play solitaire or do crossword puzzles. Hope it’s fun 🙂

And how better to start the new year than to attach a screenshot from me in Chaka Khan’s 1985 music video for her hit Through the Fire? I’m the skinny guy on the left 🙂

Happy New Year.

Thanksgiving

I have so much to be thankful for.

I enjoyed a truly delicious feast with my wife and four of our kids this evening. Good food, great company and, of course, we are all constantly entertained by my Grandson Javi. Javi is 13 months old, so he is a ball of energy. After dinner, sprung from his high chair, he is non-stop walking, or more like stumbling like a tiny little drunkard, bouncing off of things, falling on his butt, getting right back up and doing it again and again and again, grinning all the way. You try to pick him up, well… you know how babies are, when you pick them up, they turn to liquid and dribble down the front of you ’til they’re back on the ground, off to wobble another lap around the room.

I pull out my screen to show Molly the awesome new Beatles video (Glass Onion). She’s totally into it! And Javi wanders up and leans on my thigh. So I pick him up, put him on my lap and this is what we looked like for the next half hour as we watched damn near every Beatles video on iTunes.

All through it, I’m rocking him to the beat and he starts grooving out. LOL. A couple of times, I stopped and he looked at me like, “Hey! Don’t stop. Let’s rock!”

The next generation of Beatles fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah 🙂

LOVE!!!

Your Little Love Song

Hardest thing in the world for me is to finish recording a song.

I was blessed to have this simple little ditty show up late the other night, with the music nearly complete. I thought, “It’s just a little folk song, but WTF – accept the gift and be grateful for it”.

When I woke the next morning, the lyrics were running through my brain.
All I had to do was sing them.

Your Little Love Song

Well I’ll just be your little love song
And I’ll tuck you into bed at night
And I’ll be your sweet lullaby
So hold your head up high.

Ooo-oooh
Don’t let this make you cry
Ooo-oooh
I’ll love you ’til I die

Well I’ll just be your little love song
And I’ll tuck you into bed at night
And I’ll be your sweet lullaby
So hold your head up high.

Ooo-oooh
Now look into my eyes
Ooo-oooh
I’ll love you ’til I die

Well I’ll just be your little love song
And I’ll tuck you into bed at night
And I’ll be your sweet lullaby
So hold your head up high.

words, music, playing, singing by bobwhite
© 2018 Hannah’s Dad’s Music/Samsongs BMI
I wrote and recorded this without ever getting out of bed 🙂

DODGER STADIUM MEMORIES

I lived in Los Angeles from 1980-1993. I made a lot of great friends there, started a long career, played music in damn near every club, heck, my kids were born there and my Dad lived out his years there. Guess that makes me part Angelino.

Back in those days, Tower Records and all of the big record labels had season seats, so I could pretty much go to any game I wanted. For several years in the late ‘80s, during the Dodgers’ glory years of Fernando, Pedro, Orel, Sax, Gibson, Scoscia… Opening Day meant a limo to the park, box seats behind the Dodger dugout and free food. According to my ticket stub collection, I went to over 30 Dodger games in 1986 alone (I lived 10 minutes from the park, so I’d go all the time, even if it was just for an hour before heading to a concert).

But my favorite Dodger Stadium memory happened in the 1st inning of Game 6 of the 1985 NLCS. This turned out to be a game of infamy for the Dodgers, the “Jack Clark game”. The Dodgers were leading 5-4 with two outs in bottom of the 9th, one out away from forcing a game 7, when Mr. Clark hit a heartbreaking 3-run homer. Three outs later, the Cardinals celebrated on the Dodgers field.

But back to the first inning…

Spoiler alert – Kenny G performed the National Anthem (we all took a knee for that one. LOL).

So, I’m getting settled in to my seat right behind home plate – IN THE UPPER DECK – when a guy approaches me and asks for my autograph.

I’ll say that again. A guy approaches me and asks for my autograph.

MY autograph.

I say, “Um… I’m not all that famous, Chuckle. Chuckle”.

And the guy replies, “I respect your privacy, just need a quick autograph and I’ll let you enjoy the game”.

And I say, “No seriously, I don’t think I’m who you think I am”.

But this dude is now all in. He can’t back down and folks are starting to take notice (“DOWN IN FRONT”).

He says, “I really don’t want to make a big fuss. Just give me that autograph please”.
Finally, I have to know. “Um… Who do think I am?”.

And he says…“You’re Kenny G”.
Me: “Um… No, I’m not”.
Him, getting frustrated… “Yes, you are”.
Me: “Seriously, bro. Do you think that, a) You play the anthem and then get seated IN THE UPPER DECK?! and, b) How do you suppose that I got up here this quick?!”

Then I actually pull out my wallet; show him my freakin’ ID and say, “Look. I’m not Kenny G”.

I swear to God, he looks at the ID and says…

“I get it. Stage name”.

Completely humiliated, he finally says, “Well can you just sign your name?”.

And I “autographed” his ticket stub.

True story – this I swear.

The most important election of my life

Listen, I don’t love Hillary, but I consider myself a realist.

Government is government. Neither Drumpf, nor anyone else, can wave a wand and be that “change agent” some of his followers fantasize he will be. There are lots of sharks out there and I believe Hillary is infinitely better prepared to swim those murky waters. Drumpf – he specializes in more murk. THIS ocean has “cyber and nuclear”. You don’t simply file for divorce or declare bankruptcy in this “game”. In this game, we’re playing for LIVES!

Looking at the latest poll numbers (NY Times, citing Huff Post database), shows Drumpf polling at an average of 43.18% nationally. I’m trying to understand that level of support…

I have no problem believing that 21.59% of my fellow Americans (“half of his supporters” fall into the “basket of deplorables” As offended as a few were by Secretary Clinton’s characterization, many more seemed rather proud of that tag. In fact, they embraced it, buying t-shirts and hats etc. from profiteers. Good for them. The Constitution supports their right to share their opinions, no matter what they’re based on (fear, hate, bigotry, misogyny, racism, a grossly over armed populace…)

And I have no problem believing that 20% of non-deplorable (generally speaking) Americans are simply dyed in the wool Republicans – they’ll vote red no matter what.

It is a few other folks who might decide our future as a nation, the nation we hope will continue to shine the light and lead the world.

When they were young, my kids asked me what the main difference between Republicans and Democrats was. After giving it some thought, I answered:

“Generally speaking, Republicans seem angry at everyone and everything, especially ‘the Government’, and they vent their rage by pointing fingers at others, while offering few positive solutions. In fact, they seem to relish saying NO to any solution put forward. Democrats, are ‘full of hope’, want to believe everything will be better in the future if we all just get along, often expressing this by trying to baby proof the entire country with speed bumps, an overabundance of handicap parking spots and ‘tactile warning devices’. In the end, everything is about money, although in a rare show of non-partisanship, both parties will deny this vehemently”.

I believe the truth lies somewhere in the middle, of course. Both “sides” seem thoroughly entrenched in their little frames, keeping real progress to a minimum.

For me, while I project more of an extreme left position, when I’m alone with me, I have to admit that I’m merely a bit left of center. Which brings me back to the start of this rant – the values of the Democratic Party are more in line with my hopefulness that we can support each other as a people, that Americans can stop the insanely self-destructive love affair with firearms, and that we can all choose love and peace over fear and hatred. To me, the latter is what Drumpf represents, and his voice, along with the deplorables who hear this dog whistle, needs to recede into the background of our national conversation.

I’m voting Blue.

Clinton Trump

100 words on what’s really at stake on November 8th

My liberal friends.

Hillary? Bernie?
Not the most important candidates this November…

If we’ve learned one thing over the Obama years, it’s that Republicans have shown a great willingness to hold their collective breath until America turns blue.

So, grant them their wish. Please! Turn America blue.

Without control of the House or the Senate, President Sanders (or Clinton II) will endure much the same struggle Barack Obama has. The IMPORTANT elections this fall will be in the Congress.

Who are your Representatives? They are up for election.
Who are your Senators? Are they up for re-election this year?

VOTE!

100 (and last) words on Trump

America’s most despised “leader” is increasingly unlikely to be his party’s nominee. And he has no chance of winning general election. Even Bernie, the candidate the press pretends doesn’t exist, beats him in a landslide.

Trump’s “success” is driven by an absurd amount of media coverage. They cover this buffoon because it makes rubberneckers, like me, turn the TV on. He’s Zika, he’s a mining disaster, a train derailment, a 20 car collision, all rolled into one.

And I am tired of it. Trump is irrelevant. All he breeds is ignorance and hate.

I will not talk about him anymore.

Drumpf hate

100 words on the election…

A few days ago, an old friend (actually, he was my JUNIOR high school music teacher – so I haven’t seen him in 46 years!) commented on my Facebook post about Ted Cruz being a freaking bunghole. He said,

“…take it easy”.

At first, I thought, “My post wasn’t what I’d call hysterical. What’s your big deal?”
But now that I’ve reflected, the message I’m taking from his protective advisory is that this insanity, this political circus, goes on for another 8 months. After the conventions, it could get even crazier, so…

I guess I had better learn to pace myself.

bleak

100 words from March 17

Didn’t even realize I was writing 100 words way back on St. Patty’s Day 😉
Well, hoy de doy. I was!
And here they were…

I got in the car this morning and Modern Music by Be Bop Deluxe was on the radio. It took me back to one of the staples of my late teens/early 20’s. As the 12 minute masterpiece unfolded, I found myself turning the radio louder and louder and louder.

When it ended, Forbidden Lovers came on. What? Oh crap. I figured Bill Nelson must have joined the rock n’ roll heaven class of 2016.

“When will this journey be through?”

Good news. Unless the DJ knows something that the internets don’t, Mr. Nelson is still alive and well.

You’re welcome

Be Bop